Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
