were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
