Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
