There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
