You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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