so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
