The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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