Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
