so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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