Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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