I got chris browned last night
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
