Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
