so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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