I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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