Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize
