Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize