I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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