he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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