I think I can smell my own vagina right now
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
