While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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