There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
