I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
