Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
is that a dick in a sweater?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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