would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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