I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
