So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
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