I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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