Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
