I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
