how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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