Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
