idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize