Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
