That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
