u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
