It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
