We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Randomize
