I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
When are your genitals available?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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