the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize