2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
