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• (847): View more from Illinois

  It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  with a sacreligious after taste.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.

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• (510): View more from California

  dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes

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• (516): View more from New York

  I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.

  (637): View more from

  We made popcorn last night. So it's both

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.

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• (458): View more from Oregon

  I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'

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