Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
