Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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