I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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