Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
