do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
