Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
