oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
We smell like vodka and hangover
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