I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
