R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Alive.
So much puke
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
