I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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