i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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