love makes seman taste better
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
