He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
