i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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