He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
