I'm eating all of the evidence.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
