I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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