Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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