There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
