I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
